When to be free?

 What is it in me that I missed? I keep on projecting the same pattern.

What is my fear? 

Anxiety?

When to get out from this matrix?

When to have true freedom?

It's just me alone I know but I still believe in this illusion.

This is a game everything is already plan. Everyone is playing the character but how come I acted as if it's still real. I am affected with the illusion I created. 

If I signed up a mission for humanity but why is my reality is fucked up. I'm always triggered by my husband action, attitude, reaction, ideas, plans and visions. The complain he has for everything is non stop. His neat picking on everything. Is that how my past life is I am like that? Or is that how I am inside? Complaining. How can I show love with no judgement? I am God but why I'm affected. 

Is it because I don't want to carry this long illusion, to live, to experience and just end it? Do I still carry that thought? That part of me that I can't let go and is in battle. 

can I change within and reset all that I've seen at this point?

Shadowwork from your Mom who doesn't want you to speak up. Where your thoughts and opinions are blocked.